The Luxury Beliefs of the Upper Middle Class Are Killing Us

The Case Against the Sexual Revolution, A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century.

(Can someone post this on Facebook? I’ve been banned for the eighteenth time)

I spent three years in my very early 20’s making money via feminism. Raised the money, put myself thru school, hired my friends, mounted plays, wrote one. After each performance we would hold consciousness raising sessions, during which people would yell at us. Like screaming-yell. Our supporters were few, and their support was generally whispered. My initiative was based entirely on obsessive reading and discussion, it was well-founded, if you can call Simone De Beauvoir and her gang, well founded. I thought it was the right thing to do. It certainly, as it turned out, was the fashionable thing.

A new book, the Case Against Sexual Revolution, A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century, written by Louise Perry, a young writer for the New Statesman is published at the end of this month. Perry volunteers in rape centers, and works for the campaign group We Can’t Consent To This, which documents cases in which UK women have been killed and defendants have claimed in court that they died as a result of ‘rough sex’. 

This is her advice: Get Married and Make Sure You Stay Married.

Dramatically well-argued and sourced, Perry goes through every “innovation” in the sexual space and demonstrates without flinching, that all of it, all of it, privileges a particular subset of male, the sociosexual male – the kind that preferences quantity over quality - and not only that the worst kind of sociosexual male. The kind who like choking women, the rapists, abusers, serial womanizers, the pedophiles, the pimps, and the traffickers.

Decades later, says Perry, the mothers and grandmothers of 2nd and 3rd stage feminism have created hook-up culture as the near exclusive method of finding a mate. She details the unassailable fact that women, by their very nature, by their evolutionary history, and their specific biology are victimized in every move of hook-up culture, which ruthlessly uses their femininity, their gentleness, kindness, and agreeableness against them. It coarsens men, inflames their worst natures and has turned the netherworld of the sexual marketplace into a vicious free-for-all, a Darwinian thrash-hunt of the most vulnerable.

Everyone is hurt by it. Without exception.

I live in a place socially advanced, jokingly known as the end of the hippie trail. It is prosperous because it is one of the most beautiful places in the world. But, because it is environmentally advanced, our population is aging. The young and busy cannot start businesses or families here, because the environmental regulation is so strict, they cannot afford it.  The human wreckage of the sexual revolution, therefore, is on full display. The streets and markets are littered with broken older men and women, long divorced or separated, the women especially living on crumbs, alone and destined to die alone, many without family. Hey, but their 20s and 30s were free. They got to have sex with dozens, if not hundreds of gorgeous men or women. And they used all the drugs.

If you look hard enough, you will see the same people drifting along the margins of every city and town. Break sexual norms, you break the family, and then you break the culture. What is left is pitiable.

Perry makes the point that I have tried to make hundreds of times in the past 20 years. So many of the political aims of upper-middle-class work for them, but for no one else. They are luxury beliefs. Upper-middle-class mothers do not send their gorgeous teens away to college now without very stern warnings about what might happen to them. Without a full delineating of the horrors that attend hooking up. But the less advantaged, those who swallow the propaganda of the culture do not.

She shows how confused teens and young women, those without almost daily guidance from their mothers, are persuaded that their shrinking from sex on the first date, or anal sex, or BDSM or choking or rough sex, means that there is something wrong with them. Perry shows the end results of that, the maiming, deaths, ruined lives, the court cases, the desperate spirals into hopelessness. Despite that, young women are told that their desire for intimacy, relationship is somehow sick, and weak and pathetic, that to be ‘authentic’, casual sex, and a lot of it, is fabulous and brave. No matter how they feel.

You can argue, I suppose, that an 18 year old away from her family for the first time has choice, but the poor definitely do not. Almost no woman voluntarily becomes a prostitute, but the legalization of it increases the demand exponentially, therefore the need for trafficked and marginal women also increases. Perry finds literally no woman who voluntarily stays in porn, they might buy in initially, or be persuaded, but inevitably they are brutalized, forced, raped, bleeding, desperate and used. Many of these are women of color, illegal immigrants, their children.  Perry tells heartrending stories of poor women forced into $20 or $200 prostitution, without protection, of porn stars their health destroyed, their minds addicted, of children and teens permanently ruined.

It is a stark read. The research is deep and well founded, buttressed at every paragraph by legitimate studies. I can hardly do it justice.

Liberal feminism has to hang its collective head in shame.

The Case Against the Sexual Revolution, A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century is published on August 29th.